At times...

I wonder if I've made the right decisions. But, there's no going back, right? Maybe I shouldn't be in this Diagnosis class... I think I'm trying to treat a mental disorder that isn't there... or is that a disorder in itself.

Mind, would you just stop racing, going to the extremes and overanalyzing. Thanks, the rest of me...

Twitter Inspired...

Yesterday several tweets were posted that prompted this post. The first came from Jam Cal-Pin

DJDriftwood @BiggTime3 @dpinck1 when are you guys no longer considered newly weds?

And the second from a great friend, Maine

MaineDramaPro I luv @dpinck1! She knows so much abt me and still luvs me w/o judgment. that's showing God's luv. #greatfriend #randomtweet

I didn't get a chance to really answer Jam's question because twitter doesn't allow enough characters to fully express my thoughts on the topic. Although I did reply to his post indicating that this blog was on it's way. My immediate thought was that we will be a newlyweds forever! Everyday I get excited to come home to him, every time I see his wedding band I giggle like a school girl, every time I think of how our lives will change daily as a married couple as we learn one another more, as we are shaped daily into God's image for us as individuals as well as a couple I get excited. The idea of being his wife makes my cheeks hurt because of the smile that just stays on my face at the idea. I've shared about the crush I had on J, but I don't think I've shared the number of sisters who shared with me how much they liked him too. So, even now, I catch myself thinking, "I'm married to Justin Davis!" Which looking back on the late night conversations that I had with brothers and sisters as an undergrad discussing the notion of dating another member, J was always adamant about never dating a dove. When I remember his argument, it just makes me smile even more, because after years of friendship, he didn't see me as a "dove" anymore, I was a friend that he pursued to marriage.

To me, the daily challenge of learning one another, learning to be married, and using the mirror of marriage to make ourselves better is what will continue our status as newlyweds forever.

Now that second post, simply made me smile. But, after a few minutes I began to reflect (as I sat in traffic) on the quality friendships that I have with some great women. As I thought about the friendships that I have, I realized that they are truly random! I'm not sure where most of my friendships began and what pushed them further along to be as deep as they are? I have a running joke with a friend, Mel B, about not knowing where she came from, but with our friendship now, I wouldn't give her up for the world. The same with Maine, Nay, Joche, K-Mack, SRLaBoo, Thurston, Lindsey, Toyin and Deri... I can't necessarily pinpoint when our friendships moved from associates to friends, but I'm glad that they did. And even though, some of those friendships are deeper than others, and some have a different focus, they each make me better. They have each cause me to focus on myself to be a better person, to put aside some prideful thoughts/behaviors/etc. but if not for these relationships I can't say that I would be a wife right now, or a leader in ANQ, or the steps closer to Christ that I am. I appreciate and love them for being them and loving me enough to be me.

Moved in... well, sorta.

Over the weekend, Justin and I moved into our own apartment. For those of you who know how borderline OCD I am, I was concerned about the move. The notion of not having everything packed, in the living room and ready to go made me nervous. Especially with the idea of starting the move after the MART Quarterly conference... which was great, in my opinion by the way...

So, after staying up for many late nights during the week into the weekend. J and I are finally into our space. We're still sorting through some things, trying to figure out where things are going to go, etc. But, it's nice because we both know where things are. We created a system that works for us and we can begin to learn each other a bit better as a married couple. Today we get cable and internet, which is a big deal since I haven't had cable since July of 2009. And tomorrow we host dinner for our mothers who are coming into town. It's only been a few days but, I'm sure great memories will be created in our little slice of Laurel on Holly Creek Dr.

Be on the look out for a game night... as soon as we move the games from the place in College Park.

Much Needed Vacation...

I need a vacation! After waking up frantically this morning because my "beloved" <-- can you hear/read/see the sarcasm --> blackberry was in this weird state of not working, so my AM alarm didn't go off! As I drove into work, I realized that I would just like a few days to sleep in.. more importantly, I would like to sleep in without getting up and feeling guilty for sleeping in because of the amount of work that I need to get done.

Since July 25, 2010, I feel like I've been going and going and going, and I'm convinced that look is ONLY cute on that energizer bunny. I feel fatigued, worn out and I'm sure the redness of my eyes isn't sexy. I'm sure all of this will calm down once I get into a routine. But, I feel like I need the week off to organize my life, move into our new place, plan for a month of the school year, so I can just have my evenings to get to know my husband rather than falling asleep before he even gets home from class :'(

I just need to make it to winter break!

Today was a good day!

The past few weeks have been a bit helter-skelter to say the least. The trips to and from NJ, trying to get my classroom together for the start of the school year, and finally meeting my students this week. Despite all that has been going on, I had a wonderful day today with my husband. I was able to sleep in, finish reading a book, took my first eco-friendly shower, had chipotle and watched a redbox film... and periodically, I graded papers with Justin's help.

Today was a good day. Helped the environment, enjoyed some time with my husband, got some work done and had some good eats! Happy almost Friday....

Simply put...

I love my husband. I love my in-laws. But, more importantly I love my God... He's taught me so much about myself, being a wife, and truly being a woman of prayer in my 24 days of marriage.

Today, I lost my father-in-law, but I praise God for the moments we shared, for his strength to walk my mother-in-law down the aisle without his oxygen tank in order to make his son's wedding everything he'd dreamed, for greeting me our first time home after the honeymoon as the newest Mrs. Davis, for making an effort to try my lasagna that I cooked while in NJ despite not having an appetite.

I was proud before to be the latest Mrs. Davis because of the woman in the family who already hold the title, but, as I stand next to my husband during this time my heart swells with his strength, his loyalty, and his love.

I'm getting married. But you know what... I'm tired of waiting for the "big" day, I'm tired of talking about it, and I'm tired of folks asking me if I'm ready.

The days aren't dragging by just because I have so much to do with finishing up this last class for my summer session and mentally prepping what I can move out of my closet so Justin will have space for his clothes. My Matron of Honor would tell me to simply enjoy the moment, she's been telling me that since my Thursday Night dates with J (check the story at www.mywedding.com/diayleandjustin), but I can't seem to enjoy it because I'm so busy. I was talking to a sister the other day who is in the midst of planning her wedding about how ready I am just for the nitty-gritty of the marriage. I would have loved a destination wedding, white sand, Caribbean breeze and coco bread on the dinner menu. I understand that marriage will be hard work, I understand that blending two families will be difficult, but I'm ready for the practical application. I'm ready to learn new elements of Justin: the rhythm of his breathing as he sleeps, if he leaves his clothes on the bathroom floor, will he dust because he knows that I don't like to. And I'm sure we're both in for a learning curve, but I'm ready for that part. I'm ready to learn about myself, will I adjust quickly to having a for real roommate (yeah, yeah, yeah, Jamiel lived with me, but at times I only new he was there because food would go missing) or will I become frustrated because someone is taking up half my bed? Will I try and hide things that I do for fear that Justin will look at me funny... or will he just suck it up because he's my husband and I'm his wife?

I'm ready for the wedding day to be over, and ready for my marriage to begin!

I love my...

natural hair. While combing out my wrap this morning I flashbacked to a conversation I had a week before my senior prom. For those who don't know, I didn't go natural until November of 2001. During the conversation with a former close friend, I was trying to talk her into perming her hair again for prom instead of risking a ruined 'do due to rain that was in the forecast. The thought of that conversation made me giggle. I was so adamant that she just perm it, why would she want to deal with the mess of being natural.

After 8 years of being natural, I went back to the life of the perm. But, after the 2nd month of a perm I was done with the whole concept. I missed my 'fro, I missed the volume that comes with being natural, I missed being able to just wash and go. So, after only about 7 months I cut all my hair off again. Well, after 7 months my hair is growing back nicely ...which would have been a DISASTER with the wedding in 23 days, huh... and I love it. I recently got it pressed to do a test run for the wedding and I love the versatility that my hair provides.

I love my natural, my crazy wavy-curly pattern, I even love the crazy straight piece that remained after my last press. The natural style fits me well and it only helps me to embrace all that God took the time to knit together to make me!

Brain Dump

So over the past few weeks a lot of different things have been running through my head that I've been wanting to blog about, but haven't had the time between running errands, trying to tackle school work and just being lazy. But, three main things have been floating through my head, so this blog may seem all over the place and longer than normal, but I had to get it out...

Topic #1... I'm getting married.
yeah, yeah, yeah... I know I've already sorta talked about that. I've talked about how great my bridal party is, I've talked about the proposal, but as it gets closer and the butterflies flutter around faster in my stomach I don't think about the ceremony or the reception. I think of how my status with God will change. I will no longer be the single woman Paul talks about who has the ability to devote all her time to the things of God. Nope, after July 25th my attention will be divided between the things of God and the things of my household. That part makes me both nervous and excited. Nervous because I'm not sure how that will change my own personal style of seeking God and resting in His presence, granted I'm sure J could lead worship in our home at any given moment since he sings all the time. How will my new responsibilities impact my level of involvement at the new church we join as a couple? And in the years to come, how will these things change again once we start thinking about having children? See... this can make you a bit nervous. But, I'm sooo excited about what God could do through us as a married couple. C.Denard gave us this title of "power couple", at first it made me a bit uncomfortable because I didn't think we were any different from any other couple, especially when you spend time with other great couples. But, after attending a session at the UCCFS conference in '09, we were challenged with the question of "what is the purpose of your marriage?" At this time, this rocked my world, I'd never thought about it, so I had no clue. But, throughout the rest of that conference and since then, Justin and I have talked about how our gifts compliment, how we saw God moving in our relationship, as well as how we saw how God could use us in the future. So, as the days get closer my nervousness increases, but my excitement for what's to come in the future far outweighs that!

Topic #2... Justin is a great guy!
Justin is an awesome guy. I've known that for quite some time, but over the past few months I've grown to love him more and more. It seems that many people just see him, or get to know how more on a business/professional level, but I'm glad that each day I get to spend with him (which is few and far between with this long distance thing) I get to see new sides of him. I appreciate the man God has made him to be right now and bless God for who He intends for Justin to be. Since our meetings with various ministers to discuss the wedding, I've been thinking more about our relationship, one thing in particular... I'm glad I didn't settle! If you would have asked me 8-10 ago, I could have potentially told you two different guys that I saw myself getting married to, because they thought I was the "one". I'm glad I didn't settle for those guys, not that they aren't great guys and not that they won't be great husbands, but not really for me. Justin is just want I wanted and needed. I feel safe with him, he challenges me, he makes me laugh and tells me no. At first I didn't like that last point, but I've learned to appreciate it. He won't cater to me just because he feels he must to keep me. I love him for that. But, a recent thing that helped reinforce my ever-growing appreciation for the man he is, was our evening at Afram. After standing for about 30-45 minutes, I opted to sit on the pavement, while watching the performers on the big screen. Justin stood over me like a body guard, positioned himself so I could rest on him to be comfortable, he covered me in a way that most people wouldn't even think about. Thanks God, my gift of a husband rocks!!!

Topic #3... I don't seem to remember and this post is long enough... If it's important or comes to mind again, I'll do another post ;-).

Yep... I was "that" girl...

Over the past few weeks I've been doing some self-reflection, which is not uncommon for me during the summer months. As my birthday approaches, I usually try to assess what I've done in the past year, months, etc, but this year will be a bit different. I'm still doing the self-reflection, but now my focus is on how my life will change after my birthday, since the wedding is three days after my birthday.

Well, my most recent "epiphany" is that I was "that" girl in high school. The girl who only had about two really close female friends and just hung out with guys all other times. Since I was an athlete it sorta made sense, we could talk sports, I could chill in my basketball sweats, and crushing on any of them was out of the question. That worked then, that even worked in college despite being in the sorority, I still only had a few close sisters that ran with but could chill with the frat for hours. As the wedding approaches though, I am yearning for time with my sisters, trying to see how I can squeeze in as much ladies only time as possible. Not that I'm not excited about spending the rest of my life with Justin, or having him around all the time, but in the years of '06-'08 I had what seemed like weekly slumber parties with what was then called the Fab4, which transitioned to W2E, which has now morphed into something else that I don't think has a name. Those times were the best, we learned each other more, we had great laughs, we challenged each other to be better, we made each other mad, we had some great trips and I wouldn't give that up for the world. Here in lies the problem.... in 48 days, my chances to have random slumber parties, to opportunities to just lounge around with my girls will shrink.

So, the epiphany... I've grown out of being "that" girl. I love being around like-minded women, I love being able to embrace all that is being a "girl", I love developing a stronger sisterhood. In my days remaining as a "Single Lady" I'm trying to get in as many, meaningful ladies only moments. So, if we haven't spent any quality time together lately, let's change that... let's do a dinner, lunch, dessert, sit and people watch, it doesn't matter. But, I need these moments to carry me over to October when I'm sure J and I will be ready to start getting out to have fun with just the guys or ladies nights out.

Hit me up if you wanna hang...

...

I have a desire to write, but I feel like I have nothing to say.

But God...

this morning i was in a slight car accident. the accident was my fault, i ran into the back of another car. my aggressive driving nature to jump out their when merging in order to avoid sitting their all day waiting for something to happen. even though, my car, vinny, has a few dents and scratches, he runs. after the accident, despite being a bit shaken up, i had a "but, God" feeling. and not in a "buutttt, Goddd" in a whiny, complaining tone, but a feeling of excitement and appreciation for all that God is. i felt, a sense of love, a sense of peace, a sense of protection. i love where i am with God right now, He's showing me more of Him while reassuring who i am as His daughter.

God, i love you for your constant protection, guidance, love, faithfulness, mercy and grace. despite my imperfections, flaws, doubts, and the never-ending list of issues, you still desire me, desire my heart, desire my mind, desire my soul. Daddy, you rock!

Calendars...

In November of 2008, I entered into a group of people who remain forever connected to all things electric by purchasing a blackberry. At the time, I was preparing to make a transition from being a full-time employee to a full-time student, from a senior advisor to a regional officer in ANQ, so I felt like I needed to be able to stay on top of e-mail and truly organize my life. When I first ordered the storm, my main focus was on being able to reply to e-mails on the go in addition to being able to update all due dates and events in one place.

After talking to a good friend today, I realized that calendars are a necessary evil. We need calendars to help organize our lives. No matter who you are, or what you do, you need order in your life and a calendar helps. We are able to make appointments, recognize the change in seasons, plan for trips, plant gardens, etc. However, after discussing the fact that April, the fourth month of the year.. just in case you didn't know, starts on Thursday, I realized that time is really flying by. My friend and I discussed that when we were younger it seemed like time just crept by, summer vacation never seems to come fast enough, birthdays and Christmases never seems to come fast enough. Oh, but now... days, weeks, and months are just flying by. In June of 2009, I left the teaching profession after FIVE years. It didn't seem like it had been that long since I had graduated from college. This year I will possibly join the alumni of Laurel High School class of 2000 for our ten year reunion. Time, again, is just flying by!

But, since that conversation earlier this evening, I began to think that calendars not only provides a track record of things that we've done or creates an outline of things that we need to accomplish. Calendars also lays out for us all the time we waste. Time we've wasted in progressing towards our goals, time wasted simply procrastinating... especially that senior year, oh boy... time wasted in fully experiencing life, even more, I realized that in my own life, I've watched the calendars change and I wasted time in drawing closer to God. I've wasted time getting to know family members better. I've wasted time exploring who I am and truly feeling comfortable in my life with all my experiences and life changes.

Nevertheless... those calendars are definitely a necessary evil and to some a must have... So, ask yourself, does your calendar outline a life of productivity, growth, and accomplishments or does it show missed opportunities, wasted weeks and months, and stunted growth. I'm hoping that outside of being a wife by the end of the year, steps closer to being a licensed private counselor, and completing a post-graduate program, I hope to be at a higher place spiritually, I hope to be at a better place physically, and I hope to be at a different place professionally. I guess I can start counting down to a better me along with counting down to my name change.

There's a difference...

For the past 6 weeks I have been consistently working out and watching what I eat. Since I've always been the "chunky" friend, my weight and outward appearance have always been an element of life. However, with my wedding coming up and a new role as a wife, I've felt more recently in the past few years (yes, years...) that it is important that I begin to change my personal eating and exercise habits in order to benefit my future family. My rationale is that if I make a habit of exercising and eating more fruits and veggies on a regular basis, these things will become regular visitors of mine even once my schedule becomes more hectic with work and school come August.

So, anywho, getting to the differences. In February, during the snow storms, I made a conscious decision to workout at least 3 times a week. To be honest, I had to work off the great food that my cabin fever roommates made during that first round of snow... we had desserts EVERY NIGHT! Since that week in February, I have been "faithfully" doing the same workout DVD at least 3 days a week, for a few weeks, I was doing the same workout everyday while adding a bit of cardio 3 days a week to that routine. The primary DVD, Biggest Loser Bootcamp, has 3 levels, I started doing levels 1 and 2 that week in February. That first go-round, some parts I just sat and looked at the tv, thinking, "you've got to be kidding me, you want me to do what with body, nope! I'll sit right here until I can do something I can manage". Well, about 6 weeks later, that's factoring in a week in Tampa and a week of this weird cold thing, I've been able to complete levels 1 and 2 for the past few weeks now. More importantly, I've been able to do some of the exercises on the higher intensity options.

I have no shame in saying that I don't really have any upper body strength, push-ups are like the death of me, but this is an area of difference: my arms are getting stronger, my back is getting stronger, and my core is getting stronger. But, there was one particular exercise that fought me for a while... the dreaded squat thrust!
For the newbies of the program, there is a modified version, for a while I did the modified version, move to the floor, step back, step forward, stand up... and repeat. Bob, the lead trainer on the video, then has you move to doing jumping jacks while in this push-up position. This was another exercise that I completed in the modified version, instead of jumping, I would step out one leg at a time, instead of jumping out with both. Well, last week, I started with a few jumping jack push-up things, not the full amount that everyone else did. Well, yesterday! I did the full intensity squat thrust AND the jumping jack push-ups! I was so excited! I was even amped enough to show Jamiel what I could do hours later.

My plan is to add level 3 next week to finish out the DVD. From friends who are doing the same program, the 3rd level is the easiest. I'm sure that it will push me to another limit, but, the whole time I've been getting stronger and losing weight as well. My primary goal, look flawless in that dress come July 25, 2010. But my true goal is a healthy and fit family, a family that knows when to overindulge and when to up the fruits and veggies, a family that can have fun lounging around the house but who craves physical activity.

Sleeping on the job...

In October after the engagement, I thought I would do better at blogging about my wedding planning experience. I envisioned blogs that would express frustration and excitement. But, I haven't been doing too well with that. However, I feel like in the last few weeks Justin and I have really made a dent in the remaining elements of the wedding. With 128 days left until the wedding, I seem to grow more and more excited with each task we complete... but, not excited about each payment we have to make though.. huh?!?

So, let's see if I can do a quick update overview:

-Wedding Dress (check)
-Bridal Party attire (check)
-Website (check) www.mywedding.com/diayleandjustin
-Ceremony & Reception locations (check)
-Caterer (check)
-Groom & Groomsmen attire (check)
-Save the Dates (check)
-Invitations (check)

As I list these things... another task that we've completed pops into my head... we have really been on the ball with this wedding planning thing. I might have to look into event planning as my side hustle. This has been a great experience, but I think the people that are surrounding me are making it a better one. I was telling a member of the party earlier this week, that my bridal party --the great women I have around me-- makes it so much easier. They are uber-supportive, encouraging, excited at times even when I'm not, but more importantly... they ask about me, they challenge me, they love on me, and for that I'm glad that on July 25, 2010 they will stand next to me. They will be there to make sure I try and sleep, that I will have something to eat that morning, they will probably make sure I don't try to sneak out and go to church that morning but instead the P&W team members will surely usher us into the throne room, they will talk about the spinach dip ;-).

Like I said in an earlier post... I truly love and value the women around me.

Since the last time...

...I wrote a post not much has happened.... well, nothing that is uber-exciting. I've gone to class, finished a class, made some progress on the wedding and fallen in love with Jesus again...

But, I can say that I appreciate the women I have around me, they truly make me better.

Happy Valentine's Day

Despite the snow, I was able to spend the V-day weekend with Justin, since Loyola closed for the week I drove to NJ on Tuesday to spend time with him and his family. I was planning to come up on Saturday to celebrate the 40th birthday of a soon-to-be cousin, so we would have gotten to spend some time together. But, this blog isn't about the nice cards that Justin got for me, or the surprise afternoon at the spa, it's about something that the Pastor said today at Kingdom Church in Ewing, NJ. (www.kcnj.org).

He, Pastor Daniels, is currently in the middle of a series called Relationship 101. From my understanding last weekend he focused his sermon on things to challenge the men. This week, he was supposed to focus on things to challenge the women. However, he began his sermon sharing that he was not going to follow the plan he originally laid out and I can appreciate that. His message has some relevant points, he challenged not only my thinking about relationships, romantic and otherwise, but also he helped me to appreciate God more for Justin.

Since his move back to NJ, Justin has joined the P&W team at Kingdom Church, so today was the first time I was able to see him sing as a part of a P&W team separate of ANQ events. So, today, I was able to see him in a new element, more importantly in an element that I see as a "sweet spot" for him. It was great... OH... and the P&W team rocks! Anywho... during the message, Pastor Daniel makes a parallel to romantic relationships and Abraham's ram in the bush. He indicated that if an Ex was supposed to be with you in this season of your life, then that "ram" wouldn't have gotten away, if it was truly God's gift for you. After that statement, he said the statement that caused me to "stand to my feet"... a churchism that really bothers me, I mean, what else do you stand to, I guess I could do a handstand, but whatever... and applaud God for my ex-boyfriends. God truly provided me with my needs AND my wants in Justin. I'm sure in those relationships, I thought those guys were what I needed and wanted, but they weren't for me. They didn't challenge me the way I needed to be in order to grow into a better woman, they didn't show the strength that I needed so that I could safely be the woman in the relationship, they didn't have the dedication to their walk that I needed to trust we would grow together, and... and... and... they weren't for me. To be deep, they weren't the ribcage that I was taken from, we weren't a perfect fit.

So, today, I love on God more for giving me what I needed and not what I wanted. Because what I wanted in the past caused heartache as the relationship grew. I also bless God for maturing me to move beyond and even delete the contact information of my safety guy. Another statement that stood out to me during the sermon made me appreciate God more. He was speaking to the women of Trenton, since we are in Trenton, saying that no matter what you say about there not being any men in Trenton, you simply have to trust that God will make a new man from the dirt that is solely for you, that you don't have to go back to old hurts, old mess, and old struggles simply because you feel alone. What God has for you is for you and greater than you could image, but that also means you have to accept what GOD has for you, may not be what you expect for you.

Happy Valentine's Day folks... love on God today more than you love on a spouse, family members, or boo... because He has gifted you with life, unconditional love, and those whom you put God on the back burner for...

...I wish I was a Toys'R'us kid...

I have never wished more to be a kid than right now... out of school for a week, FEET of snow to play in, and the luxury of knowing that I had no other care in the world. As a kid in elementary school, you weren't concerned with having to make the days up into June, those were just additional days that you could play with your friends. Even though, I'm alright with the snow coming down, I don't have work days to make up in June this year, but, I still wish I were a kid. I want to bundle up like Rudy (snow suit, hat, mittens, snow boots, etc.) on the Cosby show and play with my neighborhood friends. I want to come in with a red face, runny nose, and frozen fingers and toes. I want to come in, have hot chocolate and watch cartoons. But, at 27 I can't get away with that... 1) all my friends are snowed in at their own homes, 2) being bundled up takes a lot more time now, 3) building a snowman doesn't have the same exciting thrill, and 4) I have school work that needs to be done because eventually I'll have to go back to school. I also can't avoid bills, I can't avoid responsibilities and the expectation is that I will remain on top of all of it.

In a number of months I will be a Mrs. and even though that's exciting, that comes with it's own set of responsibilities. We in theory have a place to live, but do two people need 4 bed rooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms and all that space... although, I would like to shift some space into the kitchen... but, that also comes with a serious mortgage. The life of a grown-up has it's pros and cons, but it's inevitable. So, which one of my super smart friends has finalized their patent on the time machine... I wanna go back to being that Toys'R'us kid, go back to that carefree life and just love life...

Hello Stranger...

It's seemed like forever since my last post... well, it's been about a month to be exact... in the recent weeks I've had so much to say, but I feel like the moment has past on most of the things I wanted to discuss...

I had an awesome time at Dove Spa with my sisters. I appreciate God for challenging me and stretching me to be a woman... more importantly, placing great women around me who allow me to be me and challenge me to be better.

The snow! I could have done without so much. I ran away today to NJ after been snowed in in the DMV. NJ is expecting snow as well, but being snowed in with J AND cable seems to make things better ;-) But, the snow has caused one of my classes to be canceled for the SECOND week in a row. Now, I'm sure most students or even employees would appreciate a few days off, especially a break from a class that meets on a Saturday for seven hours. Unfortunately, this class was scheduled to end February 27, 2010! Does anyone else see the problem... we've only had 3 1/2 hours of class, since the first class was on January 30, 2010 the day of that first snow storm of the year. I'm not sure how we're going to make of the hours or the information, but if they don't plan on making it up, give me my $1400 back. I can use that for something...

Speaking of school, this is the first semester since undergrad that I've taken more than 6 credits. Even though, I'm not working, I still feel like I'm falling behind in my work. There's so much reading, a number of papers and assignments are due at the same time, and I'm not doing well balancing. I'm really working to create a routine in life, a routine that will include studying/reading, working out, worshiping, and getting in good quality time with friends, family and me.

Okay, I'm hoping I'll be able to blog more often... the mobile app I had has "upgraded" meaning they now want to charge me $3 to use my own data time and energy... bah!

Okay... be good!

Will we endure the fire...

Over the next few months, Justin and I will be visiting different churches to find the one that is the right fit for the two of us... this is a big deal. He's traditional... and I'm well... a member of Zion Church ;-) Today we visited Reid Temple's Silver Spring satellite campus. The title of the message today was Firm Foundation... with I Corinthians 3:10-16 has the reference. In this passage, Paul discusses the foundation on which Jesus Christ is the bases of our decisions. As the message continued, he addressed the value of our fruit... will our actions and decisions withstand the fire? This made me think about a period in my life as a leader of Alpha Nu Omega, Inc. when I questioned if the fruits of my labor were actually good fruit... had I made the right decisions... would my actions truly reflect what God desired for my life and the lives of those around me. Would it in fact stand up against the fire...

Even now, I ask myself those same questions as a regional officer... Will the actions of the MART stand against the change in leadership? Will the sacrifices of time, energy and sleep strengthen the integrity and recognition of the organization that has had such a profound impact on my life? Then I began to question if I based my actions on the firm foundation of Christ, or did I base it on the hubris that comes along with holding a title and position.

Members of ANQ... ask yourselves, will the actions you've taken and decisions you've made regarding building the kingdom under the banner of ANQ stand the test of time? Or will the ashes simply blow away and disappear...

The Devil's in the Details…

In Exodus 24-31, God provides Moses with a very detailed plan for the tabernacle. As I read through this encounter between God and Moses, I marveled at the amount of detail that God had invested in this plan for a place for Him to embody to speak with His children. It made me think of how detailed His plan must be for my life. I can only imagine they measurements, outlines, etc. that He has spread out over the course of my life.

But, the amount of detail also overwhelmed me...as the reader it seemed like overkill to a certain degree. Did God really need to be so meticulous? But, then I began to think of how overwhelming this encounter had to be for Moses... what if he got a measurement wrong or if he skipped a step entirely... Would God's presence be able to enter has He intended? Again, this made me think of God's purpose for me? I'm sure that it is very detailed and if delivered all at once quite overwhelming, so I'm grateful to receive in portions.

Another element that I found amazing came in chapter 31. In verses 1-11 God calls several craftsmen by name who He has given specific skills to complete the task of building the tabernacle. That's when it hit me, God has identified specific people before He fashioned me that had the specific skill set needed to complete the design for my life THANKS EVERYBODY!!!

Unfortunately, the book of Exodus doesn't end here... in chapter 32, the people of Israel throw all the hard work of Moses out of the window because their life of blessings, holiness and virtue took to long to explain. After years of slavery, God revealing His love and affection for them, they simply said, "forget this dude Moses, he's taking too long and we don't even know if he's coming back." This really stood out to me, mind you this isn't the first time I've read this passage... experience sure sheds a new light on old things... how often have I delayed the start of my journey into the promise land because the start of the trip was taking too long? What have I created as a golden calf in my life because I haven't let God's blueprints for my life take shape?

After reading this I thought about the old saying, "the devil's in the details". In this situation for me, it may be true. In this passage, God gave so many details that more time passed than the people of Israel cared to wait, allowing time for them to succumb to their own selfish and sinful nature. The passage of time has healing effects, but it also opens the doorway for our own evil nature to take control, if we fail to remember that their is a plan and for that plan to be a success we have to wait for all the details.

In the deep end..

At the start of the year I started again with the Bible in 90 days challenge. I've attempted this challenge before, but I was overwhelmed by life making it hard for me to keep up with the amount of reading. However, this time I'm making a commitment to finish, not to just say that I have read the whole bible... which in itself is an accomplishment... but to be able to put things in perspective.

It seems like everyone else around me is surfing on a spiritual high... still amped off the church slogans from the New Year's Eve services (The service I went to the slogan was W.I.N. (Walking in Newness) in 2010). I seem to be belly up and fighting the current and struggling to catch my breath. My arms and legs are getting weak from trying to stay afloat...

Daddy, pull me close.

So much to say... so little time..

it seems. I have a few different topics running through my head to write blogs about. A blog about rock climbing, another about being a sheep and a shepherd, how calendars can show time gained and wasted, and simply one about the new year. Maybe, I'll get time to work on those this week. But, who knows... school starts next week, the PT job continues, AND I've started that Bible in 90 days challenge again. I have to get these words out.. I have to get these thoughts out... I think I'm going into mental overload.