Simply put...

I love my husband. I love my in-laws. But, more importantly I love my God... He's taught me so much about myself, being a wife, and truly being a woman of prayer in my 24 days of marriage.

Today, I lost my father-in-law, but I praise God for the moments we shared, for his strength to walk my mother-in-law down the aisle without his oxygen tank in order to make his son's wedding everything he'd dreamed, for greeting me our first time home after the honeymoon as the newest Mrs. Davis, for making an effort to try my lasagna that I cooked while in NJ despite not having an appetite.

I was proud before to be the latest Mrs. Davis because of the woman in the family who already hold the title, but, as I stand next to my husband during this time my heart swells with his strength, his loyalty, and his love.

I'm getting married. But you know what... I'm tired of waiting for the "big" day, I'm tired of talking about it, and I'm tired of folks asking me if I'm ready.

The days aren't dragging by just because I have so much to do with finishing up this last class for my summer session and mentally prepping what I can move out of my closet so Justin will have space for his clothes. My Matron of Honor would tell me to simply enjoy the moment, she's been telling me that since my Thursday Night dates with J (check the story at www.mywedding.com/diayleandjustin), but I can't seem to enjoy it because I'm so busy. I was talking to a sister the other day who is in the midst of planning her wedding about how ready I am just for the nitty-gritty of the marriage. I would have loved a destination wedding, white sand, Caribbean breeze and coco bread on the dinner menu. I understand that marriage will be hard work, I understand that blending two families will be difficult, but I'm ready for the practical application. I'm ready to learn new elements of Justin: the rhythm of his breathing as he sleeps, if he leaves his clothes on the bathroom floor, will he dust because he knows that I don't like to. And I'm sure we're both in for a learning curve, but I'm ready for that part. I'm ready to learn about myself, will I adjust quickly to having a for real roommate (yeah, yeah, yeah, Jamiel lived with me, but at times I only new he was there because food would go missing) or will I become frustrated because someone is taking up half my bed? Will I try and hide things that I do for fear that Justin will look at me funny... or will he just suck it up because he's my husband and I'm his wife?

I'm ready for the wedding day to be over, and ready for my marriage to begin!

I love my...

natural hair. While combing out my wrap this morning I flashbacked to a conversation I had a week before my senior prom. For those who don't know, I didn't go natural until November of 2001. During the conversation with a former close friend, I was trying to talk her into perming her hair again for prom instead of risking a ruined 'do due to rain that was in the forecast. The thought of that conversation made me giggle. I was so adamant that she just perm it, why would she want to deal with the mess of being natural.

After 8 years of being natural, I went back to the life of the perm. But, after the 2nd month of a perm I was done with the whole concept. I missed my 'fro, I missed the volume that comes with being natural, I missed being able to just wash and go. So, after only about 7 months I cut all my hair off again. Well, after 7 months my hair is growing back nicely ...which would have been a DISASTER with the wedding in 23 days, huh... and I love it. I recently got it pressed to do a test run for the wedding and I love the versatility that my hair provides.

I love my natural, my crazy wavy-curly pattern, I even love the crazy straight piece that remained after my last press. The natural style fits me well and it only helps me to embrace all that God took the time to knit together to make me!

Brain Dump

So over the past few weeks a lot of different things have been running through my head that I've been wanting to blog about, but haven't had the time between running errands, trying to tackle school work and just being lazy. But, three main things have been floating through my head, so this blog may seem all over the place and longer than normal, but I had to get it out...

Topic #1... I'm getting married.
yeah, yeah, yeah... I know I've already sorta talked about that. I've talked about how great my bridal party is, I've talked about the proposal, but as it gets closer and the butterflies flutter around faster in my stomach I don't think about the ceremony or the reception. I think of how my status with God will change. I will no longer be the single woman Paul talks about who has the ability to devote all her time to the things of God. Nope, after July 25th my attention will be divided between the things of God and the things of my household. That part makes me both nervous and excited. Nervous because I'm not sure how that will change my own personal style of seeking God and resting in His presence, granted I'm sure J could lead worship in our home at any given moment since he sings all the time. How will my new responsibilities impact my level of involvement at the new church we join as a couple? And in the years to come, how will these things change again once we start thinking about having children? See... this can make you a bit nervous. But, I'm sooo excited about what God could do through us as a married couple. C.Denard gave us this title of "power couple", at first it made me a bit uncomfortable because I didn't think we were any different from any other couple, especially when you spend time with other great couples. But, after attending a session at the UCCFS conference in '09, we were challenged with the question of "what is the purpose of your marriage?" At this time, this rocked my world, I'd never thought about it, so I had no clue. But, throughout the rest of that conference and since then, Justin and I have talked about how our gifts compliment, how we saw God moving in our relationship, as well as how we saw how God could use us in the future. So, as the days get closer my nervousness increases, but my excitement for what's to come in the future far outweighs that!

Topic #2... Justin is a great guy!
Justin is an awesome guy. I've known that for quite some time, but over the past few months I've grown to love him more and more. It seems that many people just see him, or get to know how more on a business/professional level, but I'm glad that each day I get to spend with him (which is few and far between with this long distance thing) I get to see new sides of him. I appreciate the man God has made him to be right now and bless God for who He intends for Justin to be. Since our meetings with various ministers to discuss the wedding, I've been thinking more about our relationship, one thing in particular... I'm glad I didn't settle! If you would have asked me 8-10 ago, I could have potentially told you two different guys that I saw myself getting married to, because they thought I was the "one". I'm glad I didn't settle for those guys, not that they aren't great guys and not that they won't be great husbands, but not really for me. Justin is just want I wanted and needed. I feel safe with him, he challenges me, he makes me laugh and tells me no. At first I didn't like that last point, but I've learned to appreciate it. He won't cater to me just because he feels he must to keep me. I love him for that. But, a recent thing that helped reinforce my ever-growing appreciation for the man he is, was our evening at Afram. After standing for about 30-45 minutes, I opted to sit on the pavement, while watching the performers on the big screen. Justin stood over me like a body guard, positioned himself so I could rest on him to be comfortable, he covered me in a way that most people wouldn't even think about. Thanks God, my gift of a husband rocks!!!

Topic #3... I don't seem to remember and this post is long enough... If it's important or comes to mind again, I'll do another post ;-).

Yep... I was "that" girl...

Over the past few weeks I've been doing some self-reflection, which is not uncommon for me during the summer months. As my birthday approaches, I usually try to assess what I've done in the past year, months, etc, but this year will be a bit different. I'm still doing the self-reflection, but now my focus is on how my life will change after my birthday, since the wedding is three days after my birthday.

Well, my most recent "epiphany" is that I was "that" girl in high school. The girl who only had about two really close female friends and just hung out with guys all other times. Since I was an athlete it sorta made sense, we could talk sports, I could chill in my basketball sweats, and crushing on any of them was out of the question. That worked then, that even worked in college despite being in the sorority, I still only had a few close sisters that ran with but could chill with the frat for hours. As the wedding approaches though, I am yearning for time with my sisters, trying to see how I can squeeze in as much ladies only time as possible. Not that I'm not excited about spending the rest of my life with Justin, or having him around all the time, but in the years of '06-'08 I had what seemed like weekly slumber parties with what was then called the Fab4, which transitioned to W2E, which has now morphed into something else that I don't think has a name. Those times were the best, we learned each other more, we had great laughs, we challenged each other to be better, we made each other mad, we had some great trips and I wouldn't give that up for the world. Here in lies the problem.... in 48 days, my chances to have random slumber parties, to opportunities to just lounge around with my girls will shrink.

So, the epiphany... I've grown out of being "that" girl. I love being around like-minded women, I love being able to embrace all that is being a "girl", I love developing a stronger sisterhood. In my days remaining as a "Single Lady" I'm trying to get in as many, meaningful ladies only moments. So, if we haven't spent any quality time together lately, let's change that... let's do a dinner, lunch, dessert, sit and people watch, it doesn't matter. But, I need these moments to carry me over to October when I'm sure J and I will be ready to start getting out to have fun with just the guys or ladies nights out.

Hit me up if you wanna hang...

...

I have a desire to write, but I feel like I have nothing to say.

But God...

this morning i was in a slight car accident. the accident was my fault, i ran into the back of another car. my aggressive driving nature to jump out their when merging in order to avoid sitting their all day waiting for something to happen. even though, my car, vinny, has a few dents and scratches, he runs. after the accident, despite being a bit shaken up, i had a "but, God" feeling. and not in a "buutttt, Goddd" in a whiny, complaining tone, but a feeling of excitement and appreciation for all that God is. i felt, a sense of love, a sense of peace, a sense of protection. i love where i am with God right now, He's showing me more of Him while reassuring who i am as His daughter.

God, i love you for your constant protection, guidance, love, faithfulness, mercy and grace. despite my imperfections, flaws, doubts, and the never-ending list of issues, you still desire me, desire my heart, desire my mind, desire my soul. Daddy, you rock!