On more than one occasion I have told myself or someone else to get their life in order. Either because they have done something that's completely out of character, unusual or unacceptable. But, in the last few months I have felt like my life is in fact out of order. I feel all over the place... the first thing that comes to mind is watching some of the 5 year-olds that I work with who spin around in circles to make themselves dizzy... they laugh and smile, but at the end of the "fun" they are disorientated and confused.
That's how I've been feeling. I feel like my life is all over the place. I have stuff for my internship. I have assignments for my class, I have this new part-time job stuff, and I have ANQ stuff... oh, and the biggie... I have relationships that I love and would like to maintain. Typically, I've very organized, I'm able to balance it all, however, this semester... yeah... this semester... I just can't seem to get things together. I haven't been able to pinpoint what's off, but I need to find out NOW! I feel overwhelmed, I feel confused and borderline frustrated. I really want to hone in on this issue and fix it, so that I can be productive.
But, I can say that I'm glad to be about half way done with my internship. I was hoping that I would be able to blog more about my experiences at the elementary school, but I haven't seemed to have the time... again, the disorder and confusion... I've had an alright experience, but the babies aren't for me. Give me the high school students, who I can get smart with, use sarcasm and potentially carry... these kids would cry. More importantly, give me my own space... I'm usually a quick learner, I don't like for other people to hover over me while I'm working or try to force me to conform to their way of doing things. I have my own style and my own comfort levels... please don't try to make you any a mini-anything... Let me open my wings and experience the thunderstorms of defeat as well as the sun rays of good times.
Hopefully, I can make it through the rest of this year operating on auto-pilot and the dropping of the NYC ball will give me the push that I need to get my life in order. The 15 credits that I'm registered for... the wedding that I'm planning for... the new element of a long distance relationship that will be added to my life soon enough...
Daddy, help me to live with some order...
Life does seem a little chaotic right now, but remember that you have a whole support system behind you. People to hold you accountable, make you stay at home, make you get up, take a road trip with you, or just go to Applebee's and have a blondie!
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