Sunday, May 23, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
But God...
this morning i was in a slight car accident. the accident was my fault, i ran into the back of another car. my aggressive driving nature to jump out their when merging in order to avoid sitting their all day waiting for something to happen. even though, my car, vinny, has a few dents and scratches, he runs. after the accident, despite being a bit shaken up, i had a "but, God" feeling. and not in a "buutttt, Goddd" in a whiny, complaining tone, but a feeling of excitement and appreciation for all that God is. i felt, a sense of love, a sense of peace, a sense of protection. i love where i am with God right now, He's showing me more of Him while reassuring who i am as His daughter.
God, i love you for your constant protection, guidance, love, faithfulness, mercy and grace. despite my imperfections, flaws, doubts, and the never-ending list of issues, you still desire me, desire my heart, desire my mind, desire my soul. Daddy, you rock!
God, i love you for your constant protection, guidance, love, faithfulness, mercy and grace. despite my imperfections, flaws, doubts, and the never-ending list of issues, you still desire me, desire my heart, desire my mind, desire my soul. Daddy, you rock!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Calendars...
In November of 2008, I entered into a group of people who remain forever connected to all things electric by purchasing a blackberry. At the time, I was preparing to make a transition from being a full-time employee to a full-time student, from a senior advisor to a regional officer in ANQ, so I felt like I needed to be able to stay on top of e-mail and truly organize my life. When I first ordered the storm, my main focus was on being able to reply to e-mails on the go in addition to being able to update all due dates and events in one place.
After talking to a good friend today, I realized that calendars are a necessary evil. We need calendars to help organize our lives. No matter who you are, or what you do, you need order in your life and a calendar helps. We are able to make appointments, recognize the change in seasons, plan for trips, plant gardens, etc. However, after discussing the fact that April, the fourth month of the year.. just in case you didn't know, starts on Thursday, I realized that time is really flying by. My friend and I discussed that when we were younger it seemed like time just crept by, summer vacation never seems to come fast enough, birthdays and Christmases never seems to come fast enough. Oh, but now... days, weeks, and months are just flying by. In June of 2009, I left the teaching profession after FIVE years. It didn't seem like it had been that long since I had graduated from college. This year I will possibly join the alumni of Laurel High School class of 2000 for our ten year reunion. Time, again, is just flying by!
But, since that conversation earlier this evening, I began to think that calendars not only provides a track record of things that we've done or creates an outline of things that we need to accomplish. Calendars also lays out for us all the time we waste. Time we've wasted in progressing towards our goals, time wasted simply procrastinating... especially that senior year, oh boy... time wasted in fully experiencing life, even more, I realized that in my own life, I've watched the calendars change and I wasted time in drawing closer to God. I've wasted time getting to know family members better. I've wasted time exploring who I am and truly feeling comfortable in my life with all my experiences and life changes.
Nevertheless... those calendars are definitely a necessary evil and to some a must have... So, ask yourself, does your calendar outline a life of productivity, growth, and accomplishments or does it show missed opportunities, wasted weeks and months, and stunted growth.
I'm hoping that outside of being a wife by the end of the year, steps closer to being a licensed private counselor, and completing a post-graduate program, I hope to be at a higher place spiritually, I hope to be at a better place physically, and I hope to be at a different place professionally. I guess I can start counting down to a better me along with counting down to my name change.
After talking to a good friend today, I realized that calendars are a necessary evil. We need calendars to help organize our lives. No matter who you are, or what you do, you need order in your life and a calendar helps. We are able to make appointments, recognize the change in seasons, plan for trips, plant gardens, etc. However, after discussing the fact that April, the fourth month of the year.. just in case you didn't know, starts on Thursday, I realized that time is really flying by. My friend and I discussed that when we were younger it seemed like time just crept by, summer vacation never seems to come fast enough, birthdays and Christmases never seems to come fast enough. Oh, but now... days, weeks, and months are just flying by. In June of 2009, I left the teaching profession after FIVE years. It didn't seem like it had been that long since I had graduated from college. This year I will possibly join the alumni of Laurel High School class of 2000 for our ten year reunion. Time, again, is just flying by!
But, since that conversation earlier this evening, I began to think that calendars not only provides a track record of things that we've done or creates an outline of things that we need to accomplish. Calendars also lays out for us all the time we waste. Time we've wasted in progressing towards our goals, time wasted simply procrastinating... especially that senior year, oh boy... time wasted in fully experiencing life, even more, I realized that in my own life, I've watched the calendars change and I wasted time in drawing closer to God. I've wasted time getting to know family members better. I've wasted time exploring who I am and truly feeling comfortable in my life with all my experiences and life changes.
Nevertheless... those calendars are definitely a necessary evil and to some a must have... So, ask yourself, does your calendar outline a life of productivity, growth, and accomplishments or does it show missed opportunities, wasted weeks and months, and stunted growth.
I'm hoping that outside of being a wife by the end of the year, steps closer to being a licensed private counselor, and completing a post-graduate program, I hope to be at a higher place spiritually, I hope to be at a better place physically, and I hope to be at a different place professionally. I guess I can start counting down to a better me along with counting down to my name change.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
There's a difference...
For the past 6 weeks I have been consistently working out and watching what I eat. Since I've always been the "chunky" friend, my weight and outward appearance have always been an element of life. However, with my wedding coming up and a new role as a wife, I've felt more recently in the past few years (yes, years...) that it is important that I begin to change my personal eating and exercise habits in order to benefit my future family. My rationale is that if I make a habit of exercising and eating more fruits and veggies on a regular basis, these things will become regular visitors of mine even once my schedule becomes more hectic with work and school come August.
So, anywho, getting to the differences. In February, during the snow storms, I made a conscious decision to workout at least 3 times a week. To be honest, I had to work off the great food that my cabin fever roommates made during that first round of snow... we had desserts EVERY NIGHT! Since that week in February, I have been "faithfully" doing the same workout DVD at least 3 days a week, for a few weeks, I was doing the same workout everyday while adding a bit of cardio 3 days a week to that routine. The primary DVD, Biggest Loser Bootcamp, has 3 levels, I started doing levels 1 and 2 that week in February. That first go-round, some parts I just sat and looked at the tv, thinking, "you've got to be kidding me, you want me to do what with body, nope! I'll sit right here until I can do something I can manage". Well, about 6 weeks later, that's factoring in a week in Tampa and a week of this weird cold thing, I've been able to complete levels 1 and 2 for the past few weeks now. More importantly, I've been able to do some of the exercises on the higher intensity options.
I have no shame in saying that I don't really have any upper body strength, push-ups are like the death of me, but this is an area of difference: my arms are getting stronger, my back is getting stronger, and my core is getting stronger. But, there was one particular exercise that fought me for a while... the dreaded squat thrust!
For the newbies of the program, there is a modified version, for a while I did the modified version, move to the floor, step back, step forward, stand up... and repeat. Bob, the lead trainer on the video, then has you move to doing jumping jacks while in this push-up position. This was another exercise that I completed in the modified version, instead of jumping, I would step out one leg at a time, instead of jumping out with both. Well, last week, I started with a few jumping jack push-up things, not the full amount that everyone else did. Well, yesterday! I did the full intensity squat thrust AND the jumping jack push-ups! I was so excited! I was even amped enough to show Jamiel what I could do hours later.
My plan is to add level 3 next week to finish out the DVD. From friends who are doing the same program, the 3rd level is the easiest. I'm sure that it will push me to another limit, but, the whole time I've been getting stronger and losing weight as well. My primary goal, look flawless in that dress come July 25, 2010. But my true goal is a healthy and fit family, a family that knows when to overindulge and when to up the fruits and veggies, a family that can have fun lounging around the house but who craves physical activity.
So, anywho, getting to the differences. In February, during the snow storms, I made a conscious decision to workout at least 3 times a week. To be honest, I had to work off the great food that my cabin fever roommates made during that first round of snow... we had desserts EVERY NIGHT! Since that week in February, I have been "faithfully" doing the same workout DVD at least 3 days a week, for a few weeks, I was doing the same workout everyday while adding a bit of cardio 3 days a week to that routine. The primary DVD, Biggest Loser Bootcamp, has 3 levels, I started doing levels 1 and 2 that week in February. That first go-round, some parts I just sat and looked at the tv, thinking, "you've got to be kidding me, you want me to do what with body, nope! I'll sit right here until I can do something I can manage". Well, about 6 weeks later, that's factoring in a week in Tampa and a week of this weird cold thing, I've been able to complete levels 1 and 2 for the past few weeks now. More importantly, I've been able to do some of the exercises on the higher intensity options.
I have no shame in saying that I don't really have any upper body strength, push-ups are like the death of me, but this is an area of difference: my arms are getting stronger, my back is getting stronger, and my core is getting stronger. But, there was one particular exercise that fought me for a while... the dreaded squat thrust!
For the newbies of the program, there is a modified version, for a while I did the modified version, move to the floor, step back, step forward, stand up... and repeat. Bob, the lead trainer on the video, then has you move to doing jumping jacks while in this push-up position. This was another exercise that I completed in the modified version, instead of jumping, I would step out one leg at a time, instead of jumping out with both. Well, last week, I started with a few jumping jack push-up things, not the full amount that everyone else did. Well, yesterday! I did the full intensity squat thrust AND the jumping jack push-ups! I was so excited! I was even amped enough to show Jamiel what I could do hours later.
My plan is to add level 3 next week to finish out the DVD. From friends who are doing the same program, the 3rd level is the easiest. I'm sure that it will push me to another limit, but, the whole time I've been getting stronger and losing weight as well. My primary goal, look flawless in that dress come July 25, 2010. But my true goal is a healthy and fit family, a family that knows when to overindulge and when to up the fruits and veggies, a family that can have fun lounging around the house but who craves physical activity.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Sleeping on the job...
In October after the engagement, I thought I would do better at blogging about my wedding planning experience. I envisioned blogs that would express frustration and excitement. But, I haven't been doing too well with that. However, I feel like in the last few weeks Justin and I have really made a dent in the remaining elements of the wedding. With 128 days left until the wedding, I seem to grow more and more excited with each task we complete... but, not excited about each payment we have to make though.. huh?!?
So, let's see if I can do a quick update overview:
-Wedding Dress (check)
-Bridal Party attire (check)
-Website (check) www.mywedding.com/diayleandjustin
-Ceremony & Reception locations (check)
-Caterer (check)
-Groom & Groomsmen attire (check)
-Save the Dates (check)
-Invitations (check)
As I list these things... another task that we've completed pops into my head... we have really been on the ball with this wedding planning thing. I might have to look into event planning as my side hustle. This has been a great experience, but I think the people that are surrounding me are making it a better one. I was telling a member of the party earlier this week, that my bridal party --the great women I have around me-- makes it so much easier. They are uber-supportive, encouraging, excited at times even when I'm not, but more importantly... they ask about me, they challenge me, they love on me, and for that I'm glad that on July 25, 2010 they will stand next to me. They will be there to make sure I try and sleep, that I will have something to eat that morning, they will probably make sure I don't try to sneak out and go to church that morning but instead the P&W team members will surely usher us into the throne room, they will talk about the spinach dip ;-).
Like I said in an earlier post... I truly love and value the women around me.
So, let's see if I can do a quick update overview:
-Wedding Dress (check)
-Bridal Party attire (check)
-Website (check) www.mywedding.com/diayleandjustin
-Ceremony & Reception locations (check)
-Caterer (check)
-Groom & Groomsmen attire (check)
-Save the Dates (check)
-Invitations (check)
As I list these things... another task that we've completed pops into my head... we have really been on the ball with this wedding planning thing. I might have to look into event planning as my side hustle. This has been a great experience, but I think the people that are surrounding me are making it a better one. I was telling a member of the party earlier this week, that my bridal party --the great women I have around me-- makes it so much easier. They are uber-supportive, encouraging, excited at times even when I'm not, but more importantly... they ask about me, they challenge me, they love on me, and for that I'm glad that on July 25, 2010 they will stand next to me. They will be there to make sure I try and sleep, that I will have something to eat that morning, they will probably make sure I don't try to sneak out and go to church that morning but instead the P&W team members will surely usher us into the throne room, they will talk about the spinach dip ;-).
Like I said in an earlier post... I truly love and value the women around me.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Since the last time...
...I wrote a post not much has happened.... well, nothing that is uber-exciting. I've gone to class, finished a class, made some progress on the wedding and fallen in love with Jesus again...
But, I can say that I appreciate the women I have around me, they truly make me better.
But, I can say that I appreciate the women I have around me, they truly make me better.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Happy Valentine's Day
Despite the snow, I was able to spend the V-day weekend with Justin, since Loyola closed for the week I drove to NJ on Tuesday to spend time with him and his family. I was planning to come up on Saturday to celebrate the 40th birthday of a soon-to-be cousin, so we would have gotten to spend some time together. But, this blog isn't about the nice cards that Justin got for me, or the surprise afternoon at the spa, it's about something that the Pastor said today at Kingdom Church in Ewing, NJ. (www.kcnj.org).
He, Pastor Daniels, is currently in the middle of a series called Relationship 101. From my understanding last weekend he focused his sermon on things to challenge the men. This week, he was supposed to focus on things to challenge the women. However, he began his sermon sharing that he was not going to follow the plan he originally laid out and I can appreciate that. His message has some relevant points, he challenged not only my thinking about relationships, romantic and otherwise, but also he helped me to appreciate God more for Justin.
Since his move back to NJ, Justin has joined the P&W team at Kingdom Church, so today was the first time I was able to see him sing as a part of a P&W team separate of ANQ events. So, today, I was able to see him in a new element, more importantly in an element that I see as a "sweet spot" for him. It was great... OH... and the P&W team rocks! Anywho... during the message, Pastor Daniel makes a parallel to romantic relationships and Abraham's ram in the bush. He indicated that if an Ex was supposed to be with you in this season of your life, then that "ram" wouldn't have gotten away, if it was truly God's gift for you. After that statement, he said the statement that caused me to "stand to my feet"... a churchism that really bothers me, I mean, what else do you stand to, I guess I could do a handstand, but whatever... and applaud God for my ex-boyfriends. God truly provided me with my needs AND my wants in Justin. I'm sure in those relationships, I thought those guys were what I needed and wanted, but they weren't for me. They didn't challenge me the way I needed to be in order to grow into a better woman, they didn't show the strength that I needed so that I could safely be the woman in the relationship, they didn't have the dedication to their walk that I needed to trust we would grow together, and... and... and... they weren't for me. To be deep, they weren't the ribcage that I was taken from, we weren't a perfect fit.
So, today, I love on God more for giving me what I needed and not what I wanted. Because what I wanted in the past caused heartache as the relationship grew. I also bless God for maturing me to move beyond and even delete the contact information of my safety guy. Another statement that stood out to me during the sermon made me appreciate God more. He was speaking to the women of Trenton, since we are in Trenton, saying that no matter what you say about there not being any men in Trenton, you simply have to trust that God will make a new man from the dirt that is solely for you, that you don't have to go back to old hurts, old mess, and old struggles simply because you feel alone. What God has for you is for you and greater than you could image, but that also means you have to accept what GOD has for you, may not be what you expect for you.
Happy Valentine's Day folks... love on God today more than you love on a spouse, family members, or boo... because He has gifted you with life, unconditional love, and those whom you put God on the back burner for...
He, Pastor Daniels, is currently in the middle of a series called Relationship 101. From my understanding last weekend he focused his sermon on things to challenge the men. This week, he was supposed to focus on things to challenge the women. However, he began his sermon sharing that he was not going to follow the plan he originally laid out and I can appreciate that. His message has some relevant points, he challenged not only my thinking about relationships, romantic and otherwise, but also he helped me to appreciate God more for Justin.
Since his move back to NJ, Justin has joined the P&W team at Kingdom Church, so today was the first time I was able to see him sing as a part of a P&W team separate of ANQ events. So, today, I was able to see him in a new element, more importantly in an element that I see as a "sweet spot" for him. It was great... OH... and the P&W team rocks! Anywho... during the message, Pastor Daniel makes a parallel to romantic relationships and Abraham's ram in the bush. He indicated that if an Ex was supposed to be with you in this season of your life, then that "ram" wouldn't have gotten away, if it was truly God's gift for you. After that statement, he said the statement that caused me to "stand to my feet"... a churchism that really bothers me, I mean, what else do you stand to, I guess I could do a handstand, but whatever... and applaud God for my ex-boyfriends. God truly provided me with my needs AND my wants in Justin. I'm sure in those relationships, I thought those guys were what I needed and wanted, but they weren't for me. They didn't challenge me the way I needed to be in order to grow into a better woman, they didn't show the strength that I needed so that I could safely be the woman in the relationship, they didn't have the dedication to their walk that I needed to trust we would grow together, and... and... and... they weren't for me. To be deep, they weren't the ribcage that I was taken from, we weren't a perfect fit.
So, today, I love on God more for giving me what I needed and not what I wanted. Because what I wanted in the past caused heartache as the relationship grew. I also bless God for maturing me to move beyond and even delete the contact information of my safety guy. Another statement that stood out to me during the sermon made me appreciate God more. He was speaking to the women of Trenton, since we are in Trenton, saying that no matter what you say about there not being any men in Trenton, you simply have to trust that God will make a new man from the dirt that is solely for you, that you don't have to go back to old hurts, old mess, and old struggles simply because you feel alone. What God has for you is for you and greater than you could image, but that also means you have to accept what GOD has for you, may not be what you expect for you.
Happy Valentine's Day folks... love on God today more than you love on a spouse, family members, or boo... because He has gifted you with life, unconditional love, and those whom you put God on the back burner for...
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