Will we endure the fire...

Over the next few months, Justin and I will be visiting different churches to find the one that is the right fit for the two of us... this is a big deal. He's traditional... and I'm well... a member of Zion Church ;-) Today we visited Reid Temple's Silver Spring satellite campus. The title of the message today was Firm Foundation... with I Corinthians 3:10-16 has the reference. In this passage, Paul discusses the foundation on which Jesus Christ is the bases of our decisions. As the message continued, he addressed the value of our fruit... will our actions and decisions withstand the fire? This made me think about a period in my life as a leader of Alpha Nu Omega, Inc. when I questioned if the fruits of my labor were actually good fruit... had I made the right decisions... would my actions truly reflect what God desired for my life and the lives of those around me. Would it in fact stand up against the fire...

Even now, I ask myself those same questions as a regional officer... Will the actions of the MART stand against the change in leadership? Will the sacrifices of time, energy and sleep strengthen the integrity and recognition of the organization that has had such a profound impact on my life? Then I began to question if I based my actions on the firm foundation of Christ, or did I base it on the hubris that comes along with holding a title and position.

Members of ANQ... ask yourselves, will the actions you've taken and decisions you've made regarding building the kingdom under the banner of ANQ stand the test of time? Or will the ashes simply blow away and disappear...

The Devil's in the Details…

In Exodus 24-31, God provides Moses with a very detailed plan for the tabernacle. As I read through this encounter between God and Moses, I marveled at the amount of detail that God had invested in this plan for a place for Him to embody to speak with His children. It made me think of how detailed His plan must be for my life. I can only imagine they measurements, outlines, etc. that He has spread out over the course of my life.

But, the amount of detail also overwhelmed me...as the reader it seemed like overkill to a certain degree. Did God really need to be so meticulous? But, then I began to think of how overwhelming this encounter had to be for Moses... what if he got a measurement wrong or if he skipped a step entirely... Would God's presence be able to enter has He intended? Again, this made me think of God's purpose for me? I'm sure that it is very detailed and if delivered all at once quite overwhelming, so I'm grateful to receive in portions.

Another element that I found amazing came in chapter 31. In verses 1-11 God calls several craftsmen by name who He has given specific skills to complete the task of building the tabernacle. That's when it hit me, God has identified specific people before He fashioned me that had the specific skill set needed to complete the design for my life THANKS EVERYBODY!!!

Unfortunately, the book of Exodus doesn't end here... in chapter 32, the people of Israel throw all the hard work of Moses out of the window because their life of blessings, holiness and virtue took to long to explain. After years of slavery, God revealing His love and affection for them, they simply said, "forget this dude Moses, he's taking too long and we don't even know if he's coming back." This really stood out to me, mind you this isn't the first time I've read this passage... experience sure sheds a new light on old things... how often have I delayed the start of my journey into the promise land because the start of the trip was taking too long? What have I created as a golden calf in my life because I haven't let God's blueprints for my life take shape?

After reading this I thought about the old saying, "the devil's in the details". In this situation for me, it may be true. In this passage, God gave so many details that more time passed than the people of Israel cared to wait, allowing time for them to succumb to their own selfish and sinful nature. The passage of time has healing effects, but it also opens the doorway for our own evil nature to take control, if we fail to remember that their is a plan and for that plan to be a success we have to wait for all the details.

In the deep end..

At the start of the year I started again with the Bible in 90 days challenge. I've attempted this challenge before, but I was overwhelmed by life making it hard for me to keep up with the amount of reading. However, this time I'm making a commitment to finish, not to just say that I have read the whole bible... which in itself is an accomplishment... but to be able to put things in perspective.

It seems like everyone else around me is surfing on a spiritual high... still amped off the church slogans from the New Year's Eve services (The service I went to the slogan was W.I.N. (Walking in Newness) in 2010). I seem to be belly up and fighting the current and struggling to catch my breath. My arms and legs are getting weak from trying to stay afloat...

Daddy, pull me close.

So much to say... so little time..

it seems. I have a few different topics running through my head to write blogs about. A blog about rock climbing, another about being a sheep and a shepherd, how calendars can show time gained and wasted, and simply one about the new year. Maybe, I'll get time to work on those this week. But, who knows... school starts next week, the PT job continues, AND I've started that Bible in 90 days challenge again. I have to get these words out.. I have to get these thoughts out... I think I'm going into mental overload.

Who would have thought...

Over the past few years I have done a little bit of everything to celebrate the new year. But, despite being in different locations and doing different things, one thing was consistent, I had a great time spending it with people I love.

Years in Review:
'06 -- After an invite from @Drbemps, @mainedramapro and @biggtime3 and I traveled to NY to party in the Empire State Building. The attire was grown and sexy, which fit right into the campaign that the Fab 4 had spent the year promoting. @mainedramapro and I had driven to NY early to spend time with @drbemps at his place in Purchase, NY, @biggtime3 came up on New Year's Eve from NJ for the party. After grabbing a bite to eat, we began our trek into the city... that's when it went downhill... we drove around and around and around looking for a place to park before riding the train down. Despite the energy and excitement of partying in the empire state building for the New Year we were on the train when the ball dropped. HOWEVER, after spending money on tolls and train fare, I was going to have a good time. We didn't stay in the city too long, but @drbemps and I made the most of the night. Went back turned the music up, made smoothies and partied.... What was really interesting about this New Year was the convo I had had the week before with my mom... who knew I had a crush on @biggtime3. She asked if I was going to take advantage of the custom of kissing someone at midnight.. yeah, no... that wasn't going to happen.

'07 -- Again, a night with quality people and great fun, with a twist. After traveling to NJ to spend Christmas with @biggtime3's family, I traveled to NC to spend time with my family, with plans to be back by New Year's Eve. To celebrate, I invited about 10-12 friends over to my apartment for breakfast at 1am. This gave everyone the chance to worship at their respective places before we got together. On my way home from NC, I stopped at the grocery store to stock the fridge for all necessary ingredients for the breakfast. After LUGGING all the groceries and my luggage into the apartment I discovered that my refrigerator had broken during my time in NC. So, the food I had in the fridge.. ruined. The food I just purchased on the way to be ruined... But, with @drbemps by my side, we again make the most of it. After traveling BACK to the store, we make the patio the fridge for the night. Again, a night of music turned way up, friends laughing and joking and getting to know one another. Despite the craziness of the night, worship at church was great that night, the bonding with friends was great... and a major difference, I could have kissed @biggtime3 to ring in the New Year if I weren't at church and if he weren't at target.

'08 -- That New Year, was a chill one. @deriberry and I had driven in from NY. The holidays for this year were spread around in various states. Christmas in NC, few days in NJ after Christmas, then a train ride to NY for the new year. But, when the ball dropped I was in MD, sitting next to @biggtime3. We had breakfast, drank some cider and watched Dick Clark. Again, I great one, bonding, some laughs and a bit of frustration.

'09 -- In two hours the ball will drop, people will cheer, and the folks in Times Square will see that hypothermia wasn't worth it. However, I will experience another New Year with folks that I care about and share a few laughs. But, a major difference is this year... this year is the last year that I'll answer to Ms. Pinckney. This time next year, I'll ring in the new year with a new name and a new role. Even though, I don't expect to see too much change... but, I have to acknowledge that it may exist. But, who would have thought... three years ago, @biggtime3 was just a crush now he's the fiancee.

Happy New Year!!

Learning from others...

Life is about learning different things... learning in the physical classroom, learning from the school of hard knocks, learning from your mistakes, learning from your belief systems,etc. But, how often do we truly learn from the mistakes of others? How many of us truly watch what others experience and modify our own behavior in order to avoid the hurt and pain that they've felt. I know many of us learned that we shouldn't touch hot things because they burn, we've learned not to run out in the street... you know the things that can cause physical harm and danger. But, do we learn to avoid the mental and emotional harm and danger from the mistakes of others?

In seven months I'll be getting married to a great guy, which I'm excited about but I'm also scared about. The concept of marriage is very intriguing to me, some last for years with limited problems others are over and done with before they could even send out thank you cards. In addition, life is so fleeting. Nothing is promised, nothing is guaranteed, nothing is truly set in stone... there are so many "what ifs" in life. The notion of the sudden lose of life is not foreign to me: 7/5/04 I lost my best friend, 7/30/09 a sister lost her husband, 12/7/09 a sister lost her mother... who's to say that I won't lose someone or my family won't lose me...

This blog isn't meant or intended to be morbid, but realistic... since Justin and I started having more serious conversations about getting married my dad has attempted to school me on the concept of marriage on a regular basis. Whenever the conversations start, I roll my eyes and breathe a heavy sigh... and simply reply, "Daddy, we've paid attention and learned what NOT to do". On January 16, 2010 my parents will celebrate their 27th wedding anniversary, however, their marriage hasn't been bliss always. I can't fake I've watched them have good times, great times, and hard times. I've thought to myself, I wouldn't do that in this situation or I would have done this in that situation, but as I matured and reflected on those thoughts, I can't say for sure if I would have done anything different.

However, one thing I can say, I have learned to pay A LOT of attention to my surroundings and evaluate what I will and won't accept in my future especially going into my marriage. I want my marriage to be open, passionate, and influential. I admire old couples who have endured the hardships of their relationship, the world around them and the issues that simply come with being human. And at the heart of all of this.... are you ready for the deep thought and skill needed... effective communication. This is something that I have learned from the marriages around me, the good, the bad and the ugly. If I haven't learned anything else that can protect me from emotional and mental harm, it's the value of effective communication. Unfortunately, I've learned the concept but I haven't learned to fully implement. I'm still learning and perfecting the use of my words to share my mind and heart with the people that I love. And as I learn, I have to learn the way the people around me communicate... I can't get mad if they don't understand me because I'm not speaking their language...

Still learning...

The Last Time…

Today Justin and I loaded up his car to drive to NJ for Christmas. This is the second time in our relationship that I have woke up Christmas morning with the Davises. Last year, I spent Christmas in NC then continued my tour of the East Coast, NJ with the Davises, NY with Shaderi then back to MD for New Years Eve.

But, on to the topic at hand, since October 17th the proposal, I've heard that "this will be the last time you do this" or "this is the last time you do that" because in less than a year's time my life will be different. I understand that next Christmas I will answer to Mrs. Davis, members in the MAR region will have two RAMAs with the last name Davis, and I will have a new role in life, wife. But will this name change and additional role truly color my perception and outlook on life experiences? I recognize that I wont be able to have slumber parties at my house whenever I want, I will have another person's thoughts, feelings and opinions to consider when making decisions. But, will this change my life in such a way that everything I do between now and July 25th be the last time I do something? Yes, it will be the last time I experience these things as a "single lady" a la Beyonce, yes it will be the last time I fill out forms with a hypenated last name, but will my ideals, thoughts and mentality change that dramatically?

I'll have to see? catch you next Christmas for a year in review.