Happy Valentine's Day

Despite the snow, I was able to spend the V-day weekend with Justin, since Loyola closed for the week I drove to NJ on Tuesday to spend time with him and his family. I was planning to come up on Saturday to celebrate the 40th birthday of a soon-to-be cousin, so we would have gotten to spend some time together. But, this blog isn't about the nice cards that Justin got for me, or the surprise afternoon at the spa, it's about something that the Pastor said today at Kingdom Church in Ewing, NJ. (www.kcnj.org).

He, Pastor Daniels, is currently in the middle of a series called Relationship 101. From my understanding last weekend he focused his sermon on things to challenge the men. This week, he was supposed to focus on things to challenge the women. However, he began his sermon sharing that he was not going to follow the plan he originally laid out and I can appreciate that. His message has some relevant points, he challenged not only my thinking about relationships, romantic and otherwise, but also he helped me to appreciate God more for Justin.

Since his move back to NJ, Justin has joined the P&W team at Kingdom Church, so today was the first time I was able to see him sing as a part of a P&W team separate of ANQ events. So, today, I was able to see him in a new element, more importantly in an element that I see as a "sweet spot" for him. It was great... OH... and the P&W team rocks! Anywho... during the message, Pastor Daniel makes a parallel to romantic relationships and Abraham's ram in the bush. He indicated that if an Ex was supposed to be with you in this season of your life, then that "ram" wouldn't have gotten away, if it was truly God's gift for you. After that statement, he said the statement that caused me to "stand to my feet"... a churchism that really bothers me, I mean, what else do you stand to, I guess I could do a handstand, but whatever... and applaud God for my ex-boyfriends. God truly provided me with my needs AND my wants in Justin. I'm sure in those relationships, I thought those guys were what I needed and wanted, but they weren't for me. They didn't challenge me the way I needed to be in order to grow into a better woman, they didn't show the strength that I needed so that I could safely be the woman in the relationship, they didn't have the dedication to their walk that I needed to trust we would grow together, and... and... and... they weren't for me. To be deep, they weren't the ribcage that I was taken from, we weren't a perfect fit.

So, today, I love on God more for giving me what I needed and not what I wanted. Because what I wanted in the past caused heartache as the relationship grew. I also bless God for maturing me to move beyond and even delete the contact information of my safety guy. Another statement that stood out to me during the sermon made me appreciate God more. He was speaking to the women of Trenton, since we are in Trenton, saying that no matter what you say about there not being any men in Trenton, you simply have to trust that God will make a new man from the dirt that is solely for you, that you don't have to go back to old hurts, old mess, and old struggles simply because you feel alone. What God has for you is for you and greater than you could image, but that also means you have to accept what GOD has for you, may not be what you expect for you.

Happy Valentine's Day folks... love on God today more than you love on a spouse, family members, or boo... because He has gifted you with life, unconditional love, and those whom you put God on the back burner for...

...I wish I was a Toys'R'us kid...

I have never wished more to be a kid than right now... out of school for a week, FEET of snow to play in, and the luxury of knowing that I had no other care in the world. As a kid in elementary school, you weren't concerned with having to make the days up into June, those were just additional days that you could play with your friends. Even though, I'm alright with the snow coming down, I don't have work days to make up in June this year, but, I still wish I were a kid. I want to bundle up like Rudy (snow suit, hat, mittens, snow boots, etc.) on the Cosby show and play with my neighborhood friends. I want to come in with a red face, runny nose, and frozen fingers and toes. I want to come in, have hot chocolate and watch cartoons. But, at 27 I can't get away with that... 1) all my friends are snowed in at their own homes, 2) being bundled up takes a lot more time now, 3) building a snowman doesn't have the same exciting thrill, and 4) I have school work that needs to be done because eventually I'll have to go back to school. I also can't avoid bills, I can't avoid responsibilities and the expectation is that I will remain on top of all of it.

In a number of months I will be a Mrs. and even though that's exciting, that comes with it's own set of responsibilities. We in theory have a place to live, but do two people need 4 bed rooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms and all that space... although, I would like to shift some space into the kitchen... but, that also comes with a serious mortgage. The life of a grown-up has it's pros and cons, but it's inevitable. So, which one of my super smart friends has finalized their patent on the time machine... I wanna go back to being that Toys'R'us kid, go back to that carefree life and just love life...

Hello Stranger...

It's seemed like forever since my last post... well, it's been about a month to be exact... in the recent weeks I've had so much to say, but I feel like the moment has past on most of the things I wanted to discuss...

I had an awesome time at Dove Spa with my sisters. I appreciate God for challenging me and stretching me to be a woman... more importantly, placing great women around me who allow me to be me and challenge me to be better.

The snow! I could have done without so much. I ran away today to NJ after been snowed in in the DMV. NJ is expecting snow as well, but being snowed in with J AND cable seems to make things better ;-) But, the snow has caused one of my classes to be canceled for the SECOND week in a row. Now, I'm sure most students or even employees would appreciate a few days off, especially a break from a class that meets on a Saturday for seven hours. Unfortunately, this class was scheduled to end February 27, 2010! Does anyone else see the problem... we've only had 3 1/2 hours of class, since the first class was on January 30, 2010 the day of that first snow storm of the year. I'm not sure how we're going to make of the hours or the information, but if they don't plan on making it up, give me my $1400 back. I can use that for something...

Speaking of school, this is the first semester since undergrad that I've taken more than 6 credits. Even though, I'm not working, I still feel like I'm falling behind in my work. There's so much reading, a number of papers and assignments are due at the same time, and I'm not doing well balancing. I'm really working to create a routine in life, a routine that will include studying/reading, working out, worshiping, and getting in good quality time with friends, family and me.

Okay, I'm hoping I'll be able to blog more often... the mobile app I had has "upgraded" meaning they now want to charge me $3 to use my own data time and energy... bah!

Okay... be good!

Will we endure the fire...

Over the next few months, Justin and I will be visiting different churches to find the one that is the right fit for the two of us... this is a big deal. He's traditional... and I'm well... a member of Zion Church ;-) Today we visited Reid Temple's Silver Spring satellite campus. The title of the message today was Firm Foundation... with I Corinthians 3:10-16 has the reference. In this passage, Paul discusses the foundation on which Jesus Christ is the bases of our decisions. As the message continued, he addressed the value of our fruit... will our actions and decisions withstand the fire? This made me think about a period in my life as a leader of Alpha Nu Omega, Inc. when I questioned if the fruits of my labor were actually good fruit... had I made the right decisions... would my actions truly reflect what God desired for my life and the lives of those around me. Would it in fact stand up against the fire...

Even now, I ask myself those same questions as a regional officer... Will the actions of the MART stand against the change in leadership? Will the sacrifices of time, energy and sleep strengthen the integrity and recognition of the organization that has had such a profound impact on my life? Then I began to question if I based my actions on the firm foundation of Christ, or did I base it on the hubris that comes along with holding a title and position.

Members of ANQ... ask yourselves, will the actions you've taken and decisions you've made regarding building the kingdom under the banner of ANQ stand the test of time? Or will the ashes simply blow away and disappear...

The Devil's in the Details…

In Exodus 24-31, God provides Moses with a very detailed plan for the tabernacle. As I read through this encounter between God and Moses, I marveled at the amount of detail that God had invested in this plan for a place for Him to embody to speak with His children. It made me think of how detailed His plan must be for my life. I can only imagine they measurements, outlines, etc. that He has spread out over the course of my life.

But, the amount of detail also overwhelmed me...as the reader it seemed like overkill to a certain degree. Did God really need to be so meticulous? But, then I began to think of how overwhelming this encounter had to be for Moses... what if he got a measurement wrong or if he skipped a step entirely... Would God's presence be able to enter has He intended? Again, this made me think of God's purpose for me? I'm sure that it is very detailed and if delivered all at once quite overwhelming, so I'm grateful to receive in portions.

Another element that I found amazing came in chapter 31. In verses 1-11 God calls several craftsmen by name who He has given specific skills to complete the task of building the tabernacle. That's when it hit me, God has identified specific people before He fashioned me that had the specific skill set needed to complete the design for my life THANKS EVERYBODY!!!

Unfortunately, the book of Exodus doesn't end here... in chapter 32, the people of Israel throw all the hard work of Moses out of the window because their life of blessings, holiness and virtue took to long to explain. After years of slavery, God revealing His love and affection for them, they simply said, "forget this dude Moses, he's taking too long and we don't even know if he's coming back." This really stood out to me, mind you this isn't the first time I've read this passage... experience sure sheds a new light on old things... how often have I delayed the start of my journey into the promise land because the start of the trip was taking too long? What have I created as a golden calf in my life because I haven't let God's blueprints for my life take shape?

After reading this I thought about the old saying, "the devil's in the details". In this situation for me, it may be true. In this passage, God gave so many details that more time passed than the people of Israel cared to wait, allowing time for them to succumb to their own selfish and sinful nature. The passage of time has healing effects, but it also opens the doorway for our own evil nature to take control, if we fail to remember that their is a plan and for that plan to be a success we have to wait for all the details.

In the deep end..

At the start of the year I started again with the Bible in 90 days challenge. I've attempted this challenge before, but I was overwhelmed by life making it hard for me to keep up with the amount of reading. However, this time I'm making a commitment to finish, not to just say that I have read the whole bible... which in itself is an accomplishment... but to be able to put things in perspective.

It seems like everyone else around me is surfing on a spiritual high... still amped off the church slogans from the New Year's Eve services (The service I went to the slogan was W.I.N. (Walking in Newness) in 2010). I seem to be belly up and fighting the current and struggling to catch my breath. My arms and legs are getting weak from trying to stay afloat...

Daddy, pull me close.

So much to say... so little time..

it seems. I have a few different topics running through my head to write blogs about. A blog about rock climbing, another about being a sheep and a shepherd, how calendars can show time gained and wasted, and simply one about the new year. Maybe, I'll get time to work on those this week. But, who knows... school starts next week, the PT job continues, AND I've started that Bible in 90 days challenge again. I have to get these words out.. I have to get these thoughts out... I think I'm going into mental overload.