Brain Dump

So over the past few weeks a lot of different things have been running through my head that I've been wanting to blog about, but haven't had the time between running errands, trying to tackle school work and just being lazy. But, three main things have been floating through my head, so this blog may seem all over the place and longer than normal, but I had to get it out...

Topic #1... I'm getting married.
yeah, yeah, yeah... I know I've already sorta talked about that. I've talked about how great my bridal party is, I've talked about the proposal, but as it gets closer and the butterflies flutter around faster in my stomach I don't think about the ceremony or the reception. I think of how my status with God will change. I will no longer be the single woman Paul talks about who has the ability to devote all her time to the things of God. Nope, after July 25th my attention will be divided between the things of God and the things of my household. That part makes me both nervous and excited. Nervous because I'm not sure how that will change my own personal style of seeking God and resting in His presence, granted I'm sure J could lead worship in our home at any given moment since he sings all the time. How will my new responsibilities impact my level of involvement at the new church we join as a couple? And in the years to come, how will these things change again once we start thinking about having children? See... this can make you a bit nervous. But, I'm sooo excited about what God could do through us as a married couple. C.Denard gave us this title of "power couple", at first it made me a bit uncomfortable because I didn't think we were any different from any other couple, especially when you spend time with other great couples. But, after attending a session at the UCCFS conference in '09, we were challenged with the question of "what is the purpose of your marriage?" At this time, this rocked my world, I'd never thought about it, so I had no clue. But, throughout the rest of that conference and since then, Justin and I have talked about how our gifts compliment, how we saw God moving in our relationship, as well as how we saw how God could use us in the future. So, as the days get closer my nervousness increases, but my excitement for what's to come in the future far outweighs that!

Topic #2... Justin is a great guy!
Justin is an awesome guy. I've known that for quite some time, but over the past few months I've grown to love him more and more. It seems that many people just see him, or get to know how more on a business/professional level, but I'm glad that each day I get to spend with him (which is few and far between with this long distance thing) I get to see new sides of him. I appreciate the man God has made him to be right now and bless God for who He intends for Justin to be. Since our meetings with various ministers to discuss the wedding, I've been thinking more about our relationship, one thing in particular... I'm glad I didn't settle! If you would have asked me 8-10 ago, I could have potentially told you two different guys that I saw myself getting married to, because they thought I was the "one". I'm glad I didn't settle for those guys, not that they aren't great guys and not that they won't be great husbands, but not really for me. Justin is just want I wanted and needed. I feel safe with him, he challenges me, he makes me laugh and tells me no. At first I didn't like that last point, but I've learned to appreciate it. He won't cater to me just because he feels he must to keep me. I love him for that. But, a recent thing that helped reinforce my ever-growing appreciation for the man he is, was our evening at Afram. After standing for about 30-45 minutes, I opted to sit on the pavement, while watching the performers on the big screen. Justin stood over me like a body guard, positioned himself so I could rest on him to be comfortable, he covered me in a way that most people wouldn't even think about. Thanks God, my gift of a husband rocks!!!

Topic #3... I don't seem to remember and this post is long enough... If it's important or comes to mind again, I'll do another post ;-).

Yep... I was "that" girl...

Over the past few weeks I've been doing some self-reflection, which is not uncommon for me during the summer months. As my birthday approaches, I usually try to assess what I've done in the past year, months, etc, but this year will be a bit different. I'm still doing the self-reflection, but now my focus is on how my life will change after my birthday, since the wedding is three days after my birthday.

Well, my most recent "epiphany" is that I was "that" girl in high school. The girl who only had about two really close female friends and just hung out with guys all other times. Since I was an athlete it sorta made sense, we could talk sports, I could chill in my basketball sweats, and crushing on any of them was out of the question. That worked then, that even worked in college despite being in the sorority, I still only had a few close sisters that ran with but could chill with the frat for hours. As the wedding approaches though, I am yearning for time with my sisters, trying to see how I can squeeze in as much ladies only time as possible. Not that I'm not excited about spending the rest of my life with Justin, or having him around all the time, but in the years of '06-'08 I had what seemed like weekly slumber parties with what was then called the Fab4, which transitioned to W2E, which has now morphed into something else that I don't think has a name. Those times were the best, we learned each other more, we had great laughs, we challenged each other to be better, we made each other mad, we had some great trips and I wouldn't give that up for the world. Here in lies the problem.... in 48 days, my chances to have random slumber parties, to opportunities to just lounge around with my girls will shrink.

So, the epiphany... I've grown out of being "that" girl. I love being around like-minded women, I love being able to embrace all that is being a "girl", I love developing a stronger sisterhood. In my days remaining as a "Single Lady" I'm trying to get in as many, meaningful ladies only moments. So, if we haven't spent any quality time together lately, let's change that... let's do a dinner, lunch, dessert, sit and people watch, it doesn't matter. But, I need these moments to carry me over to October when I'm sure J and I will be ready to start getting out to have fun with just the guys or ladies nights out.

Hit me up if you wanna hang...